Mot the Fool's Day

April Fools Day, 2020
This whole last month has been the worst practical joke ever.
Am still in bed drinking coffee 'cause, you know, quarantine.
It's a surreal existence right now.
Not entirely unpleasant. 
Am glad to have kept a record of it. 
Certainly gives me perspective in where I am productive and not productive. 
And I've had to do a lot of cooking which I don't really like, no matter how much I want to.
And that's where we are. 

Currently, I'm reading The Cosmic Shekinah by Sorita D'Este and David Rankine. This is a subject I return to again and again. I like the historical breakdown of this book. It's divested of all the New Age hooey that often infiltrates this subject. It's such a crime the New Agers got their adaptive paws all over the Sophia. She now represents the part of you you never knew was missing but can be found for a large cash donation. Sad. I don't like it when people make money off of women's insecurities. Especially while hiding under the name of guru, or healer, or advisor. Hey, look, I'm ranting again. But back to the book. This idea of the female part of God is endlessly fascinating. Asherah, Shekinah, Sophia, Sheba, Barelo, Astarte, Lilith, The Holy Spirit, Heaven, Aphrodite, Inanna, Hekate, Athena, Metis, Emanations of the Tree of Life. etc etc. Reference, cross-references. Correlations, connections. The connective tissue of the universe? Or is it the birth of creation? Or both? A lot of my work, SaurimondeMother of Toads, even Color Out of Space to some extent, deals with with the monstrous within the female psyche. Not so much for shock value, but more in an effort to find totality. In magic you have to destroy worlds to create worlds, right? The Destroyer. Who is she? If female, it's the thing we're not supposed to be in this world. But some of us are not nurterers. It's true. Some of us don't nest. And don't care too. It's not really Destroyer, but it's an element because it goes against the grain. It's easy to look at bunny boilers and dangerous women, and Kali Ma, Baba Yaga, Dark Lilith, even Hekate, Cybele, or any of the primordial goddesses and say 'Destroyer'!  But perhaps 'The Destroyer' is that which is hidden in plain sight. That which has the ability to tear down the fabric of creation itself. Or creation as we know it. The Shekinah. The female principle. The female side of God. The one who is denied and yet still remains. They've tried to get rid of her for an awfully long time and yet she's still at the party. Just a thought.

Am also re-reading Return of the Magi by Maurice Magre because I love his writing and in these uncertain times I need some lyrical beauty in my life. I need the comfort of reading something I know I already love. I've been rewatching a lot of my favorite movies and television series. It's like having old friends at hand. It's comforting. Which is something we all need right now. No matter how fucking tough we are. 

Stay safe. Stay sane. Tell someone or something you love them today. 

Ciao.









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